Save The Marriage, Even If Only You Want To
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When I first met Kelly, she and her husband, Greg, were literally driving to the attorney’s office to sign their divorce papers when they decided to stop at my office!
They were ready to end their marriage of 14 years. For some time. . . years actually. . . neither had been happy. There had been attempts to change, but things always fell apart. It had been years since either Kelly or Greg felt good about their relationship.
In fact, for some time, they had stayed together just for the kids.
There was much sleeping on the couch and in the spare bedroom.
They were constantly battling over the smallest issue ‘” which only led to bigger issues.
Threats and yelling were an almost everyday thing. They both desperately wanted to be accepted and loved, but neither felt it. The more each tried, it seemed the further they moved apart. They had tried therapy, self-help books, seminars. But nothing seemed to make a difference.
It seemed as if they were stuck in a vicious cycle. They knew they needed to change things in their relationship…but they just didn’t know how.
I’m not going to try and convince you that I was able to undo years of fighting, struggling and disappointment in a day. But, with what they learned in my office that day, they decided to put their impending divorce “on hold.”
Within a few weeks, there was a dramatic transformation in their marriage…
Last week, Kelly called to invite me to their anniversary and “re-commitment” ceremony!
Most marriage therapists are not trained to be marriage counselors.
They receive their training in traditional, individual therapy, and add marital counseling to their practice… after the fact.
In other words, most marriage therapists have little expertise in helping a troubled marriage.
And, when they do offer marital counseling, they are, usually, applying outdated, ineffective strategies that were never intended to help truly troubled marriages.
This is why the best marriage counselors see a success rate of only 20%. . . if a medical procedure was that risky. . . it would be outlawed!
I know from experience, because I too was frustrated with such a low rate of success. I sincerely desired to help my clients to save their marriages. But, the techniques and strategies I learned in school seemed to be making things worse!
Once I realized that “traditional” methods of marriage therapy don’t work, I determined to find and create strategies, techniques and methods that do work.
It led me to abandon much of the “old school” ideas about how to help troubled couples…and so should you!
Before you can begin your journey toward saving your marriage, you need to stop buying into The Four Most Damaging Myths About Saving Your Marriage.
The 4 Most Damaging Myths About Saving Your Marriage…
Myth 1: You Need To Learn More Communication Skills
Learning new communication skills will not help you.
Teaching you how to communicate better, if your marriage is truly troubled, will only give you and your spouse the ability to fight more effectively!
In many cases, improving “communication skills” only creates more damage and accelerates the deterioration of the relationship.
Many other programs assume there is only one “path” back to marital happiness.
I discovered there are 8 distinct paths! And, each “path” must be addressed differently.
What is helpful at one stage can be destructive, or at least counterproductive, at another stage. I have created a unique path for each stage that resolves the crisis best.
These paths have been tested and retested, and proven successful for hundreds in my practice.
You will learn how to determine exactly which stage of marriage crisis you are facing. After you do this, you are infinitely better prepared to move forward and begin the healing and progress.
Myth 3: You can’t start saving your marriage if your spouse isn’t interested.
When a marriage crisis is in full swing, it sometimes takes awhile for the other spouse to respond. But, this does not mean that you can’t save your marriage!
My techniques and approach work. . . even if your spouse has already “given up. ”
My strategies have been called “relationship Judo.”
You will learn how to use the negative energy in your relationship to turn your relationship around.
Myth 4: Time heals all.
This may be the most damaging myth of all!
In my experience, many people procrastinate and hope that things will get “just work themselves out.”
This rarely, if ever, happens. You already know that! That is the reason you are at this site. You are ready to take action!
If you do not take action, the negative momentum of the relationship moves against you and before you know it, the relationship is too far gone.
It is critical that you start the process of saving your marriage now. . . before things spiral into a place that is truly irreparable.
Anyone Is Capable of Transforming Their Relationship
Impossible as it may seem, I have created techniques which transform relationships… even when only one person is trying!
My typical client is a spouse that wants to save their relationship when their partner has already “given up.”
Most therapists work from the assumption that, if only one person wanted to work on the relationship, it was impossible to fix.
I don’t approach marriage crises this way. I approach them like an algebra equation. If one side of the equation is changed, the other side must change!
Incredibly, my clients have achieved an 89.7% success rate. . . even if only one spouse starts the process! (Findings based on surveys. Individual results can vary.) With Kelly and Greg, it was Kelly who started the process. She found me on the internet , downloaded Save the Marriage and began the process of saving the marriage. . . by herself.
Greg was still bent on a divorce, but Kelly still had hope. . . and took action. Fairly quickly, Greg was less insistent on the divorce, but still… Read more…
